SHIPPING & RETURNS

DOMESTIC SHIPPING:

Shipping is calculated based on weight and sent via USPS First Class Mail. Pending credit verification, please allow 1-2 business days for order processing, as orders are shipped out Monday through Friday (no weekends or holidays). While shipping times may vary, you should expect to receive the crap you ordered within 7-10 days.

Please ensure your mailing address is correct at checkout. I cannot reroute shipments and, if an order is returned due to an invalid address, I'm going to keep your money and sell it to someone else. Additionally, once an order has been successfully delivered to the confirmed shipping address, I cannot be held responsible for lost or stolen packages. I'm gonna give you tracking information once your order goes out, so you should really keep an eye on that shit. Lost packages are no fun.

INTERNATIONAL SHIPPING:

First of all, what are you even doing here?! Anyway, here's the deal - trying to calculate international shipping is really hard and I'm not the brightest, so it isn't even enabled here on the site... BUT - if you're really dying for something from here, send me a message and we'll talk about it. I'm sure I can make it work!

RETURNS:

SORRY, FRENCH. ALL ITEMS ARE FINAL SALE. Please rest assured that I'm only selling you the highest quality merchandise here, okay? I've done my best to display this crap as accurately as possible, but we all know that every screen is different. For apparel, read that size chart so you order the right size. I'm just a clown doing the best I can. Sorry 'bout it. 

If you received a damaged item, it's not my fault. I will only send you clean, unused, and damage-free merchandize, okurrr? Claims must be filed by the customer with USPS. I am not responsible for items damaged in transit.